Millions of high-quality images, video, and music options are waiting for you. I always believed it was just our preferences. Get premium, high resolution news photos at Getty Images Some of them are preferences, some of them are simply temperaments. WebJohn Gray lives in Northern California with his wife, Bonnie. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. Theres the guy who just likes girls and also has male friends. But estrogen doesnt lower stress for women. It could look adversarial to a bystander, I said. John Gray: To someone else, yeah. I think its probably one of the unique characteristics of the book. Were both playing out the script that is in your book. How a woman can dive deep and realize what other needs she has for connection in a relationship and not just intimate needs. When something seems amiss, and someone is acting irrationally, you should immediately try to get to the source of the problem, rather than reacting to the symptoms. PR.com: In todays world many women, myself included, feel that other women can be petty or competitive. It suddenly gave me more interest in her, it made me more motivated. John Gray may be associate pastor at the largest church in America, but hes not your daddys preacher. In this episode: Proven tips to immediately strengthen your relationship The biggest mistakes people make in the home Secrets of a happy marriage; and Worst, the more women complain the worst it gets as it becomes a habit. His many books, blogs and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. The key is not to ignore the feelings, but share them with people who are not the target of feelings. Grow your brand authentically by sharing brand content with the internets creators. So they did the best they could, and they became like men in order to get that respect. Now, having more equality in relationships is a beautiful thing, but the problem is, people have equated equality with sameness. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to Within a few years men were buying as many [copies] as women, once word caught on that this book is very supportive of men as well as women. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. If my wife says, I want to go get a massage, I know men that would say, Well, honey, thats expensive. If my wife wants a massage, thats as important as a doctors appointment (laughs). Connection. It gets locked up and you cant access it with your partner if your testosterone levels start dropping. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. Author ofMen Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. I re-wrote it and used the original title that I wanted to begin with, which was Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. We just hang out and we update each other on our lives. If that fails, pull out the rope-a-dope, which is what he does. But it feels like everything we do is for you and not me. What I do is put it together in a coherent package to apply it in useful ways. We want to be the whip cream. My friend is engaged to this woman and theyre having some difficulties. Ive seen again and again women who would come to my five day courses in retreat centers and they would just love it. Save 10% off all orders: Use discount coupon code WELLNESSFORCE at checkout. How can we relate to one another? In the movies it happens because there is some sort of life and death situation; some intense situation and then there are all of these romantic feelings. Im going to a mens group meeting tonight. Required fields are marked *. They have been happily married for over 30 years and have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. John Gray: Well, if you go to indigenous cultures, for example, women are rarely upset with their husbands the way that in the West we are. During graduate school, John served as the Assistant Dean of Men at Bob Jones University for five years. Dr. Gray lives in Northern California where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. In the nineties when the book was very popular, that is when most of the universities began having gender studies departments. And so is Bette, although if I did let it slip and act like that, she would say, Thats not like you at all. Little does she know. Im afraid I will not get what I want. Based on what Ive heard before and read here, it feels like it was written completely for women, which kind of defeats the purpose. Tap into Getty Images' global scale, data-driven insights, and network of more than 340,000 creators to create content exclusively for your brand. Ill still forget to do stuff, but my wife just simply asks me to do it again. Heres the hard one. Yes, we clearly got a couple of good ones, and I know you were being self-congratulatory in a jokey way, but we are with Kathie and Bette out of choice, not providence. Early man had to learn to duck and dodge his enemies in battle, for instance, so it should come naturally for a husband to duck and dodge his wifes unreasonable tongue-lashing. When I went to Harper Collins and published Men Are From Mars they said, Why dont you [now] write primarily for women because mostly women buy these books. I said, No. . Watch Love and Health with Dr. John Gray. One. Its hard for her to acknowledge aspects of who she is because she [fears] she will be judged or ridiculed. Unfortunately, the way Gray says things is only going to work for about 10% of the male population, and only because most of them are gay. Find out as Dr. John Gray explores the masculine and feminine sexual polarities of our modern world. fisk heroes addon packs. There are so many things we need to spend money on in the house and you are buying a computer. This was written to illustrate how John did what needed to be doneand so should we all, guysand so resolved the crisis. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. But if you go back thirty years ago, it was very challenging for women to get the respect they deserved in the workplace. John Gray: The good thing is that women are, to a great extent, seen as equals in the workplace, and in the universities there are more women graduating than men. A mans testosterone levels at forty years old are the same as a seventy year old man just thirty years ago. Heart disease in men is owing to low testosterone. (LogOut/ John Gray: In my personal life, I had been married to Bonnie (Grays wife of twenty-five years) for seven years, we had a family and we lived very happily together. PR.com: Ive heard a lot of these stories from women I know; young women in their twenties and early thirties. Its oxytocin. It reinforces all of the testosterone values. These arerole materelationships where people play out their roles in order to create harmony. Sometimes people say, We were divorced, and we got back together after one of us read the book.. John Gray: Its blowing everybody away. Pinnwnde sind ideal zum Speichern von Bildern und Videoclips. Just today my wife was having a strong reaction about [something], and because I know Mars/Venus I wont say much (laughs). This is why we dont sell products, get paid for recommendations, or sell ads on our podcast. You just go away for a day and do things that you love to do, and if you want you can give me a call, and Ill get a babysitter and come visit you at a hotel room., John Gray: It was a very sweet time of our lives and I remember it very clearly. Grow your brand authentically by sharing brand content with the internets creators. For your testosterone level to stay that high, you have to feel confident that you are loved. There is a middle ground where one isnt interested and the other one is, and there is anger that there is no reciprocation. On a certain level, when a guy stops having sex or when he doesnt want sex, he doesnt want it, so he doesnt miss it. In 1984 they divorced, After which he re-evaluated his ideas regarding relationships. I just need to talk for a while and feel that you care. In saying that, Bonnie not only prepares John for the ducking and dodging he is going to have to do, but also apologizes in advance for whatever she may say that is offensive or mean-spirited. New York publishers then wanted to re-publish it so it could go national. Maybe I am mad that you want so much more than me. My first experience with this had to do with being unavoidably late. Since not being guilty of anything is one of the great passions and liabilities of my life, I focused on the unavoidably part. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. Dr. John Gray and The Mars and Venus Wellness Solution. Heart. Author John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. That wasnt the right part. John Grays seventeenth book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice is currently in bookstores nationwide, including Barnes & Noble, and available at Amazon.com book and PBS Special DVD combo. And was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. When you look historically at what the feminist movement really was, its like a massive cultural shift that has never occurred in a big civilization before. I was the bystander I had in mind and I really would not like to see that transaction, much less to be on the receiving end of Bonnies anger. How do they find their way back to each other under these circumstances? A while back everybody was asking me why Tipper Gore and Al Gore would get a divorce. Asa bystander, I ask the kinds of questions I am going to look at in the next post in this series. I think its a very very young Bonnie Gray. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. These are role mate relationships where people play out their roles in order to create harmony. I would be thinking, Is she going to call, or is she not going to call?. Click here for our founders Free Health Journal. He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. The power of listening and telling your partner, Help me understand that better, when they're emotional and, Why the only way to grow is to get out of your, Why a man's testosterone will actually go up when he listens to and helps his partner release and, The four emotions that will both release negativity very quickly and raise. He says he is ducking and dodging, continuing to hold back and not retaliate, but he is aware that he can take only so much more. But only in that sense. 2023 Getty Images. When the book first came out, it was primarily women who bought it. Here they are in much earlier days, before all the ducking and dodging and pausing and preparing. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. Check out Dr. Joels interview on how to prevent heart disease. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. If Bonnie does what she is supposed to do, it will make it much easier for John to respond to her. So Bonnie need not respond by saying Youre not listening or You just dont understand., She can say, Let me try saying that in a different way.. When I do what John Gray says to do, everything works out really well. Suddenly those feelings come back. WebBus Schedule. Stop trying to elicit sympathy from others. Men should not show emotions unless talking to a therapist who is going to analyze and support them. All rights reserved. When I do what John Gray says to do, everything works out really well. When my wife would take responsibility for her happiness, and then ask me to do something [for her], then she would become happier, and I would take credit for the whole thing. We dont want to do it all. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: new relationship skills for our complex modern world. The truth is, even though our roles have shifted, there are still fundamental differences between men and women. They need to forget about their problems to get their testosterone up. Mit unserem einfachen Abonnement erhalten Sie Zugriff auf die besten Inhalte von Getty Images. Im sure they cared enough about each other to say, Just go off and be happy. Or it could have been the other way around. . And so is Bette, although if I did let it slip and act like that, she would say, Thats not like you at all.. If your stress level increases it can create a tear leading to heart attack. John Gray: Its a common pattern. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. Its very important for a man to do a job that they feel good about, overcome a challenge, feel needed! What if the source of the problem is not treatable? PR.com: Like you say in the book, when a woman goes off to get a massage, for example, it is to escape all of her responsibilities. Exploring a woman's different love needs and how their partners can fulfill them. You did it again! I helped him see her point of view, and I helped him see how he created the mess. And if the guy says, I need to spend a little alone time, and you say, Just go on and get out of here, I mean, what a brilliant thing! Del Monte Land Tranport Bus Company (DLTB) Victory Liner, Inc. Ferries Schedule. If John does what he is supposed to do, nearly anything Bonnie does will work out. Their life does it. Love what I am doing with my mission of spreading the truth about how we can live healthier, happier and longer? I was the bystander I had in mind and I really would not like to see that transaction, much less to be on the receiving end of Bonnies anger. so that you can have both the male and female points of view when applying MarsVenus relationship skills. He is asking them to be less aware of their feelings and more aware of their wifes feelings. Women need caring, understanding, respect, and reassurance. We dont look to one person for everything. Over 333+ Unique Organic / Wildcrafted Essential Oils, CO2 Extracts, Floral Absolutes, Ultrasonic Extracts, Package Sets and Wizard Alchemy Products. ), Bonnie: Have you researched the market? If you dont say, This is important for my health, then you kind of go, Ill just have sex when I feel like it, as opposed to creating a schedule where it would happen. I got the news, on my honeymoon, that my father had died. He was an Associate Pastor to Dr. John MacArthur at Grace Community Church for five years overseeing the Shepherding Ministries. I think his characterizations of male and female roles are stereotyped and rigid. John Gray: No. Learning how to deal with stress is the key to heart health. We help humans discover physical & emotional intelligence to live life well, We help humans discover physical& emotional intelligence to live life well, Copyright 2022 Wellness Force Media All Rights Reserved. He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. Essentially, if we really knew what we needed, it would be much easier to get it. Very few women have that insight, so hell end up feeling guilty. This all seems pretty commonsense to me. WebJohn Gray lives in Northern California where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. My wife and I have been together for thirty years, and weve been married twenty-five years. 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