she tells him SHE is sorry. I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years and weve known each other for 10 years. If I were you Id take a break and keep your heart open for a new partner who is more compatible with you and whos needs match with yours, at least whos match a bit more than he does. but up to now he doesnt understand what im pointing out and still refuses to make even small efforts. He now expects this but does not reciprocate. LOL. We just celebrated our 9 months of being together last Sept. We couldnt go one day without some little thing exploding. After that I had to go home cause it was starting to get dark. My 30th birthday was two days ago. You Are Very Possessive & Insecure about Him. But for him, anniversaries are pointless. It became so bad that I almost broke up with him. Now, what do I *do*? My boyfriend has told me that multiple times and yet we are in the same place months later. But Im starting to realize my own self worth. He tells me that he loves me very much and I know he does. The worst of all, Hes so Unforgiven, if we have misunderstanding ill sent a text of apology, after that ill try to call him, but, he wont pickup on several occasions. Since then hes filed for bankruptcy and the interest he used to take in my poetry appears to have disappeared. So that could also be taking up his time and mind. I dont know what to do. He never posts about me. If youre last on your boyfriends list of priorities, then you need to stop wondering what to do when he makes no effort in your relationship. My bf has been acting distance from me lately. A little reminder that you're an equal part of the relationship and have needs, too, could help redirect their focus. And I get it, hes never been through the same things but I expect that. We talked about it seriously the 2nd year. I dont want to push him away. He says it just happened because we live in the same house, so it doesnt matter. Im starting to think he doesnt want to marry me. Stop yourself from bombarding him with messages. So Im telling myself to just treat him like an acquaintance and move on with my life, but still find myself getting triggered on the daily by this baffling behavior. A lovely text of him telling me that we can talk everyday when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes even i dont get it,If im asking for too much. Like thank you for ruining an otherwise nice day/evening because I did not answer you the correct way when you asked if I refilled the ice tray. But there were also a couple of red flags like he wouldnt make concrete plans with me ahead of time, he would just tell me Saturday afternoon that he was ready for me to come over if I wanted. Its Valentines Day and this is the only holiday or day in general I care about. When we are together he is so sweet and wonderful. Meaning me. Maybe what they need to here is (as an example)- Im not feeling like a priority to you, and therefore what I need is for you to make dinner with me one night this week so we can reconnect.. That will drive you crazy too. So me and my bf have been dating fur about 5 months now. But he feels that I would have a better chance getting a job were he lives then him getting a Job where I live but thats not the point. I love everything you said and its so true. Its hard to let go of someone you love, and its not that easy for me. funny and stupid for I was foolish to be trapped with his flowering words. We live in one of the coolest states in the world, Orlando Fl. The point is if a man cares enough about his future wife and son would he want them to be safe and help them move to become a family.. Kiki, I do not like what you said about being the one who travels back and forth. Yet never once hes let me in. HE NEVER CLEANS. i yearn for good morning texts or check ins throughout the day. You should never settle. He seems to always have excuses. But I decided to tell my bf what makes me happy. There is a lot more to it that Im frustrated about, and recently Ive become I guess depressed about everything in general and find myself thinking about how it used to be and what I miss the most and to be honest all that ends up happening is me ending up crying, falling asleep and it starts all over again. HE ALWAYS FORGETS. No calling. Recently,he told me hell be busy with work and i tried to understand our situation right now..But he i feel like he doesnt seems to give much effort for this relationship to get closer. But by week three the little things stopped happening I chalked it up to me being less a guest in his home and more a comfortable companion. Then we start texting, he seems fine again and things are good and a month or so later it happens again. If you really love him and see potential in the relationship then give it a try. Its insane. I dont want to much. In the beginning of the relationship is when everything should be perfect. Im always the one who always ask. THEY ARE DRINKING AN BECOME LAZY. If you aren't getting the attention you need and deserve, it may be time to move on. But I understand coz hes really busy at work. Everything is fried up. He was very affectionate and gentle towards me and would make it a point to call me every day, the first maybe 2-3 months of our relationship. The first year was good, with what I call sparks! He is very sporadic with hugs and holding hands. We would stay up all night calling for hours, thats how we learned the most about each other. Im so upset. He Is Going Through Something If, however, your boyfriend really has lost interest in you, then you may have to be painfully honest with yourself. Sister, dump his ass How it seems he is not all down for you, and using you just to get what he wants. You believe your boyfriend loves you, but he stopped showing his love in tangible ways. He tells me he is going to bed and we will talk about tomorrow. I met other guys got into relationships but didnt work. He texts me that his out with his friends and hes drunk. His self-absorbtion is engrained and chronic- and not my issue to fix. Now I am sitting alone in my room crying and reading online articles about how to feel better about myself. We do not even live together and he puts no effort, and I think throughout the years it would get worse if we get married, or live together. However I have had major trust issues since I was young and still find it hard to trust him in certain situations. Psychologically, the pressure was destroying me. DESAFIO SINTONIA DA PROSPERIDADE: https://hotm.art/bMGvF75N He was wearing them every day when he started his new job. fyi, he was at a party yesterday until 6am. NO PHONE CALL. Its Valentines Day , I been with my boyfriend for 6 months. He has never been one to open up about problems he has with himself or our relationship. And are you willing to invest more years/months than to call it off now? This is where my first question comes in: how well do you know your boyfriend? It makes me jealous he could spend time playing games with her not me. I got up today and did mine in bed, he continued browsing the web on his phone which is all he does now when we are together. We have complete separate paths in store and we have absolutely nothing in common and we also live together but we barely see each other so you would think that when we do have time for one another he would enjoy the time he has with me but it doesnt feel like that. He does not feel like he should go the extra mile to do anything as long as you know he loves you. Am I a horrible girlfriend for feeling this way? For me personally, I feel like my boyfriend does not know how to go through a crisis together. Its also heartbreaking, especially when you want to be with him. He had agreed we both need to be more positive and would be open to doing little exercises each day. I didnt hear from him till early Sunday morning when I drunk texted him. You have to accept the current man in front of you and decide how you want to move forward with who he is in the moment not who he was in the past. I get 2-3 texts a day and I have to call him every few days just to hear his voice. He foes sweet thoughtfulthings when I come over yo see him. When I asked again the second time I had to remind him since money was tight for the both of us that I wasnt the kind of girl that needed some fancy, expensive date, that if I came home one day and he had a blanket later out in the backyard and some snacks or whatever out for us and we ended up just laying there looking up at the stars the whole time and talking that that alone would be a really good date in my eyes. And youll likely receive the same treatment. Hes making a shit ton of money now and its (seems to be) working out well so Id have thought his aside, mood, all that Stress effecting his energy and sex drive .. Would have gotten better. When I got back from fall breakEverything changed../me him and his sister made a plan for when i graduated, i was gonna move in with him and his sister and go to college around there but that changed to him getting an apartment and a moped and me moving in with him and going to college. I know we also havent been talking quite as much because were both busy with work. He understood, admitted he takes me fore granted and he would try harder. Hes talking about going to a rave and doing drugs and asked me to go.Tbh I just think he wants me to pay for everything. ? I noticed he changed a bit, he does little effort in our relationship. But still hes everything I want and need. I understand exactly where youre coming from. I would break up and then we would make up. Life is too short to waste it being miserable and stressed out and fighting over stupid shit. but thats what made me fall in love with him and now that i feel like the efforts arent made or not even made but not wanted, not driven, not desired as he felt before. Yesterday he spent the whole day replaying to every single text with yeah or k. Since a month or so these fights are causing me to have panic attacks and he doesnt care when tell him how much it affects me. Im an essential worker so I work fulltime while he sits at home playing video games all day long. Most people reading this right now are probably thinking oh my god youre so young and u have so much time! But one day accidently I saw that his facebook conversation with a girl. I hope everything goes well for both us to get this relationship last. Then he asked me out for coffee later tonight if i am free, I told me I am already engaged ( which I am). i want to try to talk to him about it since we never argued or anything but ive been feeling this way for quite a while and i dont want to just break up with him like that. Am I being needy too much? He was fine with it so we just started to say it to each other. I keep trying to be loving and affectionate and hes always too busy and it gets on his nerves because Im stopping him from doing whatever hes doing. Your email address will not be published. My boyfriend made no effort for my birthday and sent me a 2 line email and when I expressed my disappointment didnt speak to me for days. Other guys got into relationships but didnt work makes me happy he stopped giving me attention so much!. Seems fine again and things are good and a month or so later it happens again quite much! Still refuses to make even small efforts games all day long is the only holiday or day in general care... 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