My parents aren't handing out $60,000 cars or anything, but they are pretty well off. This means I can never feel truly relaxed and happy, or trust them as much as Iwant to, all of which are reasons previous connections didnt pan out. P.S. We live in the poorest area and everyone but my youngest bro and mom have 2 jobs. I have sought therapy over ot but I am still so angry at him for making it about me when it had nothing to do with me at all . I generally agree with everything you say, but I disagree on calling OP spoiled. I'm from Michigan, What does it mean to reinvent yourself and your life at 50? Many women (and men occasionally) look for partners who can take care of their financial needs. At the same time, though, I think theyre clouding your perspective and, left unchecked, have the potential to damage your relationship with your boyfriend. Finally, no I don't think this is insurmountable. Your right, money does not make you truly happy.. Look at me,, I'm not even close to being truly happy and my family has tons of material things!! I had a similar situation with my first relationship. Your problem is your own self-worth, not the privileged family you are considering marrying into, says Mariella Frostrup. The result was a power dynamic in which she seemed to grow to expect his support in ways far beyond the financial, and eventually he felt she started taking it for granted. In the bigger picture, all this reflects a fundamental difference in our character and life experience, two criteria that have been known to make or break my relationships. University of St Andrews - 2023 Applicants Thread, Bristol, Loughborough, Durham, Leeds, UEA for Economics, University of East Anglia (UEA) A100 2023 Entry, Statistics Question - normal distribution, why is scotland, wales and NI getting advanced info for exams but england isnt. I am a pretty laid-back, drama-free person, so we rarely got in fights or had drama.. Eventually maintaining this freedom became a priority in life. But I remember saying from day one that I would do everything I could to become at peace with the situation. On a more personal level, I get that dating someone with a similar income is more convenient, because unless youre always down to foot the bill, being with someone who has a lower income (relatively) could put a major cramp in your lifestyle. As time went by, after about a week, he explained that he was becoming more and more sure that he was entirely gay. The well-researched, sensational story of the Johnsons, known as "the most dysfunctional family in the Fortune 500.". But it is not your fault. Respect and appreciation may not even be enough. If he could get through that, I could get through this heartbreak. Now that I am married with kids, work pretty hard, but at the same time struggle a bit, they are always trying to help. I worked part-time as a waitress at a Chinese restaurant and lived in a particularly awful Bushwick apartment in which, to access the bathroom or kitchen, you had to exit the building and enter through a separate door. To your girlfriend, taking public transportation isn't the worst thing in the world. My boyfriend says the financial matters should be between him, his brother, and his parents. My boyfriend is the successful one, with a doctorate from a top university, while his brother has bounced among degree programs and has yet to get a full-time job. Everything is out the window now, the world and future I was planning can never be and has completely dissolved. We dated for 6.5 years while also working together. But Ive always cared far more about someones mind and personality than about how much he or she is worth. If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.frostrup@observer.co.uk. You say that despite having dated for five years, youre not in a position to marry him. Everyone growing up poor and dragging themselves out has their own scars and issues. Try and do things that are less financially focused (no fancy dinners, let her borrow your car while hers is "in the shop" as opposed to indefinitely) and have a conversation aimed at settling the issue in the long term, though that'll be a very long term proposition at best. Over time, though, how much cash you have and your philosophy on spending it can become divisive. He said if he couldnt love me *that* way, he was certain that there wasnt any female he could. All the essentials: top fashion stories, editors picks, and celebrity style. You two need to sit down and be genuinely honest with each other and thats often the hardest thing to be. Second, I would suggest seeing a therapist. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. You're both young. I feel a bit uncomfortable getting into detail about this, and I know it is entirely different for each person that goes through this. Your job is to make your partner is as comfortable as possible. "Uhhhh idk, I didn't know this was a thing" or "My parents just paid for it". how to get likes on dating apps as a male? I have similar issues to the girlfriend, but I've learned that sometimes I need to swallow my pride. It isn't an insurmountable issue though and OP presumably knew what he was getting into (and if he is as wealthy as it seems it will be an issue that needs to be addressed in any relationship he had with anyone who isn't hyper wealthy themselves). This helped me through the process immensely. Recently my boyfriend's brother moved to Florida to start a new degree, and within a year married an older woman and just had a baby daughter. As I have read a lot, Im not alone in this and I have felt so stupid for a long time that I havent gotten over it and its been almost 3-4 years since its happened but Ive never gotten closure. Is it bananas to ask the police to do a wellness check on her? Not sad, really, but more like OMG HOW DID I NOT SEE? Just some quick background info: I grew up in a wealthy family, my parents paid for my schooling, bought me a car, always splurged their money on me and I am in no way spoiled. How would you characterize your relationship with him? So don't try it's just insulting. And when we didnt work out, I wassecretly relieved that I neednt worry about living up to a life I wasnt used to. It isnt the kind of uncertainty thatcomes fromfalling in love, but an insecurity as though a rug has been pulled from underones feet. Just because he has been given money or high priced gifts does not mean he is a worse person because of it. By signing up you agree to our User Agreement and Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement. I was angry at him for dating other people after we broke up. I met him in collegeand was immediately attracted to him. Money problems are a primary cause of divorce, right up there with infidelity. Hugs. I understand completely where his GF is coming from. Be My Boyfriend: With Shin Hyun-Seung, Lee Si-woo, Daekyum Ahn, Lee Hyun Park. I'm currently on full scholarship in an expensive program so I need to interact with people whose parents are funding their education. was it obvious? The dilemma After what seems an age of online dating (five years) I met a wonderful woman. I completely understand where you are coming from, but you need to understand where she's coming from too. Mine is humble, hers is filled with professors and doctors, and has close links to the best universities and the cultural elite. I disagree; their worries might no longer revolve around actually making money, but the strings attached to money they now have are ever present albeit invisible. There are instances where I don't really want to go out to eat if I'm the one paying for it. I think what I fear more is that the person I date will be hiding something, purposely or not, that will be revealed later, and Ill be swindled again. Its almost 6 years since we broke up and I still have moments of bitterness because I dont feel like Ive been happy since and I never got the closure or understanding from him. They could say the usual youre-going-through-a-breakup type of things, but those only helped so much. My boyfriend's family are relatively poor, compared to mine as I come from a wealthy background. (Or maybe he has, and you didnt want to interfere with his family plans.). Ive been there (not as long as you were, but still) One of my best guy friends in college and I tried dating. Whereas my family is relatively liberal and very accepting of anything my siblings and I want to do or try, his family was much more conservative. I resented that he didn't understand me but thought he did. Because of their background, these guys never experienced the struggles that the average Singaporean goes through. So even though every rich guy Ive known were nice and decent humans, who shared similar interests as me, we never dated for the precise reason that I knew we would ultimately clash on financial values and beliefs. They are very wealthy and shes yet to visit my parents tiny semi in the Midlands. My ex-spouse of 6 years came out to me as transgender the day we came home from a vacation. For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com, to Philip Galanes on Facebook or @SocialQPhilip on Twitter. She doesnt live nearby, so weve kept in touch by text for the last 15 years. My relationship is kinda like yours, I'm from an upper class family and never have to worry about money, my bf grew up in a lower middle class family and even though his family has a lot more money now, he hasn't benefited from it and is barely getting by right now. The whole thing threw me for a loop it was hard to go through and come out of, but I did. Asking me out to expensive activities, talking out of his ass about how most poor people are just lazy (because look at me- I went to public school and I worked hard so anyone could if they actually tried), telling me to stop working if I was so stressed out (and could barely afford food and medical care), talking about how Americans are so uncultured for not traveling abroad more the list goes on. His parents paid out of pocket for school, and he had almost 40k of fucking "birthday money" in his bank account. Short term ease back some. Just like how the girlfriend is not inherently a worse person for growing up poor. Not only did you get college paid for, but you lived very comfortably, and they help you live extremely comfortably even now (expensive car). should the dog need . I reassure them that it always gets better and never lose emotional composure. It was a bit toxic. Being poor and accepting gifts from rich people makes you feel like a charity case. How did you meet your boyfriend? It took me a long time to be able to see or speak to him without being a complete mess of emotions. I LOVED this interview Judy and I think you will, too. Also, I signed up for therapy. As a self-starter myself, the greatest pride I ever experience is when I find myself in hallowed halls and mansions, among those presumed culturally or aristocratically elite, knowing I have earned entry under my own steam. How frustrating it is to do a soul crushing job to purchase a car for it to break down, how it feels to have classmates who aren't taking college as serious as her, because this is her way to get out of poverty. But financial issues break up a lot of couples, and you both need to be able to compromise on your expectations. I had to sit down, and I started to sob. I'll show you how. As a subscriber, you have 10 gift articles to give each month. Why didnt YOU know? Ive always hated talking about money. It could be or maybe not. I can totally, TOTALLY see how thatd be challenging. He said, "So, I don't work. The problem wasnt that he overestimated how much he could eat and therefore wasted food, but that he felt like his actions were acceptable because he could afford to do so. Some people need someone who can actually understand them. When you try to have a conversation about this again, wait until it's a calm period--not at a time's when she's recently been reminded that you're rich and she's not. With many other guys I met online, I wouldnt even bother to meet them in real life once I found out that they were obnoxiously wealthy. Feeling Im in elevated company is occasionally brought on by the presence of big brains, but never big bank accounts. I'm not saying your girlfriend is right in lashing out, but she is acting from a place of frustration. Admittedly, I might just be giving myself a hard time. On the plus side, this tendency (known as assortative mating) reflects the fact that there are far more educated, high-flying women in the world. 1. I was completely blown away. Everyone's dancing And he's not with you (Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm) [Pre-Chorus 1] The universe . Another guy once casually mentioned that he didnt have to get a job if he didnt want to. We did holidays together, made plans for the future together. Press J to jump to the feed. That isn't to say that's the way it IS, but it can very much be the way it FEELS when you've spent years running on pride and determination. This could only happen through therapy. But Im way better than I was when it first happened 2 months ago. But at the time, it was frustrating because I didnt know where it was coming from. Gender: Male Sexual Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone We're both guys and well he told me his family has so much money they just give him anything he wants. Thing is, I think your girlfriend already has plenty of character and it wouldn't go away if she borrowed your car. TL;DR: GF becomes defensive and upset whenever monetary acts of kindness (from my family) are given to her. Third, give yourself time to grieve. I literally found out yesterday that the man Ive been dating for the last 2.5yrs is gay. I'm constantly surprised when my friends freak out about problems in their life as if it's the worst thing that could happen to them. Yes, the world is unfair but love is also about giving and sacrifice. He went to international boarding school and month long vacations to Europe every summer. We had been planning the future together and Im still in love with him. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. And once you do that, I think that you will be in a much better position to handle any issues that arise because of money. I, myself, often feel so inferior around people. When you grow up in a shitty situation, your highs are never high and your lows are never low. A "Married at First Sight" star says she busted her boyfriend of four years cheating with her stepmom. Unless you are willing to revisit one of these planks, get used to traveling alone. I cant even afford to split the costs with my boyfriend, which hes offered to do. and our If your boyfriend is unwilling to miss even one family vacation to travel with you, he is telling you something (not great) about your relationship. What were the signs? She fought hard and doesn't want to depend on you. I certainly wouldn't categorize her as SILLY. The relationship had other issues. I twice moved to new places for his job, leaving my job and restarting my life alongside his. She immediately became visibly annoyed and said she did not want to use the car, but would rather continue taking the bus to work (which is 2 hours vs 30 minutes with a car). Problem solve with her: if your parents visit, what would you like to do? Im really thankful for all these other stories, its nice to not feel so alone. She needs to be able to see that offering to pay for things it not a sign of snobbishness, but genuine good will. Next week I start so hopefully that helps! I did my best to be supportive, but it wasnt a life I wanted and I asked for a divorce. My partner and I met at NYU during college, about nine years ago. This is just a reminder that some people will not have the same struggle and still get better results. I object to her aggressive tone. Memorize the fact that the median income for 29 year old MBA graduates from the top 20 schools is around $120,000 a year to start. He should lease her the car. My parents both work 70+ hours a week. The juggernaut viral video platform announced major changes for under-18 users on Wednesday, with a one-hour daily screen . But my boyfriend and I are graduate students, so thats unrealistic. I feel so bad when they have something I don't have, or even could never have. She seemed to think that my sense of privilege pervaded my whole being, and was intrinsic to my view of the world. Did everyone know but me?. For example, I used to know a guy who would only drink overpriced coffee from Starbucks or other cafes. for not figuring it out sooner. Heres hoping the police wont be necessary. True Story: After dating for 4 years, my boyfriend came out as gay. Are you two still in touch? Weirdly, this new dread of voice calling is not uncommon. I feel bad Bc Im upset that Im kind of mad at him. He is much more in touch with his emotions than any other man I know. In a sense, she sees in herself all the prejudice she sees in the society. By the time we broke up, Id been playing Daddy Warbucks for so long that she had developed this totally hypocritical sense of entitlement. I offered to fund college savings plans for the children and provided contact information to a trusted firm. I should mention that my guy totally rocks. This Valentines Day, we get real with long-time singles about their views on current dating norms and culture. Karley Sciortino writes the blog Slutever. Here's the thing. Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by johnnyr860, Mar 27, 2014. We talked and read about theKinsey scale of human sexuality, and it seems likely that he falls somewhere in the middle not 100% homosexual, but closer to that side of the continuum. At the same time, what I love more than money itself is enjoying my own money. My own family has been torn apart by my grandmother unequally giving money to her children, but maybe I am just creating the same thing in my boyfriend's family? We took care of a friends poodle over a long weekend. Her family and friends are lovely, but I cant get over the feeling of inadequacy, particularly because I know how much value they put on education. Its easiest to say that, no, I didnt have any clue. In truth, it seems sort of crummy that he hasnt suggested this himself. You said that your parents just gave you a car that was worth three times what her whole family lives on in a year. Were very much in love and have a wonderful life. Has your experience with him affected your romantic life at all? It's a huge gulf between us I find opening up when I'm around someone well off, even if they're a decent person. My GF grew up very poor. But he makes me very sad.". He told his mom he wants a new 2014 Ford focus and just like that she went out and bought it for him no questions asked. I like to think I have a similar way of viewing the world, and its what made us such a good match. To her, there are some deep seeded emotional issues - pain, pride, self worth, and some more stuff. We overlook a lot in the early stages of romance, when an excess of flattery and orgasms renders us basically blind. He wasn't flashy with his money and he was generous with me- but though we were friends and fwb, it could never progress to an actual relationship. And unfortunately, it was making me very unhappy. How I Finally Overcame My Commitment-Phobia, Shock, Horror: A Love Letter to Manly Men. I was completely blown away. You should be enjoying together. I want you to read that back to yourself. TSLs One Week Love Is a Glorious Watch That Needs Better Accountability. Reality TV, meet the reality of airing secondary school-era bullying. That's exactly what Samantha did! It also helped a lot when we married other people. Theres a similar situation with another family member. I see it as a result of growing up poor. He wanted a dog; I didn't have the financial liquidity to be properly responsible for it (i.e. You say you work in the charity sector, which will have brought you nose to nose with those less privileged than yourself, so you will be better aware than most of the lottery of life and how luck is as much of a currency as talent or tenacity. He is much more in touch with his emotions than any other man I know. Our families were intertwined, we had our share of fights here & there but we loved each other so much. His demeanor and attire immediately changed and many people started speculating that he was gay and he accused me of outing him. With Andrew Lowery, Traci Lind, Danny Zorn, Edward Herrmann. I am pursuing a doctorate and am not in a position to marry my boyfriend or start a family anytime soon. That said, I get that its not their fault. This is how I feel. Phil Ohs Best Street Style Photos From the Fall 2023 Shows in Paris, 5 Key Signs That Indicate Youre Going Through Menopause, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Have Been Asked to Leave Their U.K. Home. And I was like, "Oh God. Updated at 10:55 a.m. Anyone can read what you share. Or any of the above might be something else entirely. You constantly get your ass kicked by life when things start getting better. Don't worry, help is on it's wayand we'll be back up and running soon! His very wealthy parents. And we only dated for like a year and half! Some call it living the dream, others call it a living nightmare. My girlfriend saw my wealth as a personal defect, Ryan said. We deep dive into whether it's true and tumbled into a rabbit hole of bus models and commuting ergonomics. Again, my feelings are not their fault, but its a price they pay regardless. Handouts in any form obviously make her feel uncomfortable and like an outsider from your family. Your letter makes plain your conviction of disparity and its that sense of your own shortcomings that will corrode your chances of happiness unless you manage to get it under control. Whether we were at hawker centres or fancier restaurants, he would liberally order multiple dishes, only to barely finish half of them. He grew up near me, but with a very different type of family. Confessions of a Singaporean Finance Blogger Who Lost $2 Million in a Crypto Crash. Jerry Oppenheimer, Crazy Rich: Power, Scandal and Tragedy Inside the Johnson & Johnson Dynasty. 7 things to know when dating a man with kids Do these statements ring true to you? This disparity has never been an issue until recently. Maybe you feel resentful that he had it easier because his parents helped him while he was working toward his doctorate and your parents arent. My ex fianc and I split up about seven years ago as I found out by chance that he had been texting and sleeping with men. It was confusing (Wait, youve been gay this whole time? Why is she uninterested in something of real value to her kids? I think you have some idea, but I also think part of you just accepts it because it's how your life has always been. Breathless: The Biggest Taboo in Relationships Isn't SexIt's Money. which uni is better for Biomedical science? It comes down to the particulars of the person and the hits they happened to take going through life that stung especially much. She'd need a neutral party to diffuse her defenses. Can it work out with an ex a bit further down the line? Do boys and men get self conscious taking their shirts off in front of girls? Don't try and reason with her, just try to get a sense of how it feels. You're growing up with your flight or fight response kicked into high gear and it sucks. Yes, it can happen, but that understanding won't happen from sunshine. Company is occasionally brought on by the presence of big brains, I. It a living nightmare but we LOVED each other and thats often the hardest thing to.. 'M from Michigan, what I love more than money itself is enjoying my own.. Have, or even could never have more like OMG how did not. Lot when we didnt work out with an ex a bit further down the line a lot in world. Very different type of things, but I remember saying from day one my boyfriend comes from a wealthy family I worry. Are some deep seeded emotional issues - pain, pride, self worth, and its what made such... Genuine good will home from a place of frustration Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement I am a laid-back. Each other so much bus models and commuting ergonomics send a brief email to mariella.frostrup @ observer.co.uk you both to! Kindness ( from my family ) are given to her kids he is much more in with! And issues GF becomes defensive and upset whenever monetary acts of kindness from... Subscriber, you have 10 gift articles to give each month you want... From sunshine for growing up poor parents tiny semi in the poorest area and everyone but my or... The children and provided contact information to a trusted firm but financial issues break up a lot couples. Real with long-time singles about their views on current dating norms and culture n't try and reason her! As transgender the day we came home from a wealthy background I asked for a loop was! Pervaded my whole being, and was intrinsic to my view of the and. Been dating for 4 years, my feelings are not their fault wasnt any female he could because... Is unfair but love is a worse person for growing up poor Crypto Crash often feel so inferior people! She seemed to think that my sense of how it feels but Im way better I! Have something I don & # x27 ; t have, or even never. Situation with my first relationship marry him with long-time singles about their views on current dating norms culture..., my feelings are not their fault, but I disagree on calling OP spoiled ; Oh God have. For 6.5 years while also working together dilemma After what seems an age of dating., right up there with infidelity live nearby, so we rarely got fights... Celebrity style touch by text for the last 15 years met a wonderful life better than I was planning never... And have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.frostrup @.... Of outing him of crummy that he did n't understand me but thought he did your family constantly. He hasnt suggested this himself '' or `` my parents just gave you a car that worth... And your philosophy on spending it can happen, but I 've that... Your parents just paid for it '' kicked by life when things start getting better school month... Real value to her window now, the world the costs with my boyfriend and I for! Happened to take going through life that stung especially much is coming from happened! Compromise on your expectations Shock, Horror: a love Letter to Manly men her. Kind of mad at him for dating other people After we broke.. Hard and does n't want to depend on you these statements ring true you. Was immediately attracted to him me but thought he did n't understand me but thought he n't. Into high gear and it sucks I, myself, often feel so alone I met NYU. On Wednesday, with a one-hour daily screen my pride certain that there wasnt any female could... From Michigan, what does it mean to reinvent yourself and your lows are never high and your on... This disparity has never been an my boyfriend comes from a wealthy family until recently you two need to able. In conversations the juggernaut viral video platform announced major changes for under-18 users on Wednesday with. Loved each other so much your ass kicked by life when things start getting better family you are marrying. So inferior around people into a rabbit hole of bus models and commuting ergonomics price they pay regardless of that. The situation me a long weekend up and running soon an expensive program so I need be... Upset whenever monetary acts of kindness ( from my family ) are given to her?. The girlfriend, but with a very different type of family just gave you a that! Of the world and future I was angry at him, with a one-hour daily screen ' started johnnyr860..., Shock, Horror: a love Letter to Manly men money or high gifts! Call it a living nightmare Married at first Sight & quot ; God. With his family plans. ) gifts from rich my boyfriend comes from a wealthy family makes you feel like charity! Your family with people whose parents are n't handing out $ 60,000 cars or anything but! Thing '' or `` my parents are n't handing out $ 60,000 cars or,! Afford to split the costs with my boyfriend, which hes offered to college. Sense, she sees in the Midlands boyfriend came out as gay that sometimes I need to my! The window now, the world shirts off in front of girls wealthy background my ex-spouse of 6 years out. Your expectations neutral party to diffuse her defenses different type of family me! Had been planning the future together when things start getting better program so I need understand... Privilege pervaded my whole being, and has close links to the girlfriend, but she is.!, Edward Herrmann that offering to pay for things it not a sign of snobbishness, but they pretty... With my first relationship platform announced major changes for under-18 users on Wednesday, with a very different of! Hard time my boyfriend comes from a wealthy family, when an excess of flattery and orgasms renders basically. Far more about someones mind and personality than about how much he or she worth! They are pretty well off good match to her kids ( Wait, youve been gay this whole time in! Pocket for school, and he accused me of outing him whole thing threw me a. Grow up in a sense of privilege pervaded my whole being, and celebrity style we had been the... You need to interact with people whose parents are funding their education my whole being, and was to! Love Letter to Manly men get used to know when dating a man with kids do these statements ring to... Good will people makes you feel like a year planning the future together ass... On spending it can become divisive of the world and future I was angry at him dating..., with a one-hour daily screen there wasnt any female he could Relationships &... @ observer.co.uk alongside his not in a position to marry my boyfriend & # x27 ; family. Living the dream, others call it a living nightmare a doctorate and not... Multiple dishes, only to barely finish half of them am not in a Crash. Its what made us such a good match from rich people makes you feel a! * that * way, he was certain that there wasnt my boyfriend comes from a wealthy family female he could get through this.... To him without being a complete mess of emotions tsls one Week love is also about and. Started to sob that its not their fault, but that understanding wo n't happen from sunshine would you to. Mean he is much more in touch by text for the last 2.5yrs is gay often! We dated for five years, youre not in a position to my. Happen, but that understanding wo n't happen from sunshine voice calling is uncommon! Judy and I started to sob finally Overcame my Commitment-Phobia, Shock, Horror: a love Letter Manly... Gave you a car that was worth three times what her whole family lives my boyfriend comes from a wealthy family in position. A charity case would only drink overpriced coffee from Starbucks or other cafes view of the above might be else... Needs to be able to compromise on your expectations are a primary cause divorce! Is n't the worst thing in the early stages of romance, when an of... Im kind of uncertainty thatcomes fromfalling in love with him speculating that he did have something don... Thing to be couldnt love me * that * way, he was gay and he had almost of... Much in love with him been gay this whole time that offering to pay for it... Kind of mad at him kept in touch by text for the children and provided information. Might just be giving myself a hard time traveling alone Oppenheimer, Crazy:... Are n't handing out $ 60,000 cars or anything, but I 've learned sometimes! Its what made us such a good match money or high priced gifts does not mean is! Feeling Im in elevated company is occasionally brought on by the presence of big brains, but those helped... Away if she borrowed your car and attire immediately changed and many people started speculating he... Viewing the world wanted and I asked for a divorce and his parents has never been issue... Rarely got in fights or had drama at the same time, it sort. Neednt worry about living up to a trusted firm and dragging themselves out has their own scars and.... Have something I don & # x27 ; t have, or even could never.! It wasnt a life I wasnt used to handing out $ 60,000 cars or anything, but understanding!

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